Tonight I've just watched Jade:The Next Chapter, An auto-pathology from Jade Goody (Off of big bruvver!). I've had the pleasure (and sometimes misfortune) of reading a number of illness narratives in the academic world, but this TV show is one of the most challenging, its a harrowing insight into the horrors of dealing with cancer juxtaposed with someone constantly and unashamedly self-promoting. While it is easy to hate Jade, especially when you consider her personality, which is truly horrible, but there is something weird about watching this. She is a mother preparing to leave her kids for ever, trying to provide for them, and those candid moments of weakness and pain are harrowing and heartbreaking. The problem i have is the clearly scripted interviews, which are like a desperate estate agent trying to seem really nice so you'll buy his last house before a volcano destroys the bloody village, such is the try hard attitude of Goody to force people to see her, notice her and on a tertiary level, like her.
Jade, it seems, will die as she's lived, invading the public's mind to her financial benifit and psychological detriment. I understand why she's doing this show. Money. Give her kids a nest egg when she's gone, which is tragic, but shame on the producers for pushing her into this, and shame on us for watching it, because the poor girl is dying and we're just gawping, when she really deserves some dignity.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Brenda Ann Spencer Should have aimed for Geldof
Tell me why i dont like mondays.....
One of the only things I dislike more than mondays is Bob Geldof and his stupid face, caring so much about the developing without ever taking a proper stand. Now dont get me wrong, its not that I think live aid was a bad thing, and i dont think bringing these issues up on every given occasion is a bad thing either, even if it is done only to take a bit of attention and column inches away from your spoiled brat daughter and her idiotic musings. The problem i have with Geldof is that he has never gone nearly far enough. Rock stars (using the term loosely here) are supposed to be rebels. They are supposed to do and say what they feel and bugger the consequences. The luxury of being a rock star is that when your making sense people will listen, and when you go mental, believing you own hype, people will say "wow, that crazy drugged up rockstar's really lost it", but it wont damage the cause you were making so much sense about, because your a rock star and its expected. For this reason i believe it is a rockstar's right and responsibility to not pull punches when it comes to issues of global necessity, like poverty.
In a position of popularity, a successful icon should constantly remind people of their social responsibilities. they are in the unique position of being able to directly lay blame for people dying of starvation, something a politician could never do. They can actually point a finger, and it wont harm them, it may even help them. Being respected sells records and record companies like that, so they'll promote the hell out of you and let you say anything you want, and if you swear alot, even better, because being edgy fucking rocks!
Now the reason I hate geldof is not because he doesn't do this, but because he thinks he has it down to a fine art. His smugness is so irritating that i want to spend eternity slicing my eyeballs with rusty razor blade just to not have to look at it. So here's my message for Bob, put in handty bullet point format so he can create his own checklist:
Im off to watch a team sponsored by Nike kick a football around a field and justify over £1million in wages for the week alone.
Yours, in hypocracy.
Eoghan
One of the only things I dislike more than mondays is Bob Geldof and his stupid face, caring so much about the developing without ever taking a proper stand. Now dont get me wrong, its not that I think live aid was a bad thing, and i dont think bringing these issues up on every given occasion is a bad thing either, even if it is done only to take a bit of attention and column inches away from your spoiled brat daughter and her idiotic musings. The problem i have with Geldof is that he has never gone nearly far enough. Rock stars (using the term loosely here) are supposed to be rebels. They are supposed to do and say what they feel and bugger the consequences. The luxury of being a rock star is that when your making sense people will listen, and when you go mental, believing you own hype, people will say "wow, that crazy drugged up rockstar's really lost it", but it wont damage the cause you were making so much sense about, because your a rock star and its expected. For this reason i believe it is a rockstar's right and responsibility to not pull punches when it comes to issues of global necessity, like poverty.
In a position of popularity, a successful icon should constantly remind people of their social responsibilities. they are in the unique position of being able to directly lay blame for people dying of starvation, something a politician could never do. They can actually point a finger, and it wont harm them, it may even help them. Being respected sells records and record companies like that, so they'll promote the hell out of you and let you say anything you want, and if you swear alot, even better, because being edgy fucking rocks!
Now the reason I hate geldof is not because he doesn't do this, but because he thinks he has it down to a fine art. His smugness is so irritating that i want to spend eternity slicing my eyeballs with rusty razor blade just to not have to look at it. So here's my message for Bob, put in handty bullet point format so he can create his own checklist:
- Straight talking is NOT saying fuck in front of Parkinson, or calling the queen Liz. Certain times when being invited to speak to business communities who are directly responsible for the economic exploitation that causes poverty in the developming world (Neo-liberal economics 101) is the perfect opportunity to give a bollocking to the sources of the problems, rather than putting on a tux and attempting to challenge the laws of physics by simultaneously crawling up the arseholes of a room full of people.
- Read a book on development. Spare change and political change go hand in hand. Money is needed for the emergency situation, and political action for the long term. Whats the point in rabbiting on about how world leaders must take responsibility when a large number of staving people wont be alive to see it.
- Comtrol your family. Lots of people no longer think "developing world activist" when they see Geldof, they think "Bad Parent". I know theres a bad family situation there, and i dont blame bob for that, but for the sake of humanity, shut that daughter of your up. If i was Gordon Brown i would refuse point blank to take any advice or even listen to someone who has done that bad a job in raising a human being. If I dont like mondays hadnt gone to number one and the geldof's had been poor then social services would have been on the case years ago. Peaches is the perfect candidate for involuntary euthanasia. A real embarrassment and her idiocy and lack of a braincell belittle any worthy cause a person associated with her may have.
- Punch Bono. So many people would thank you that they'd probably do anything you say, even donate their own flesh to starving children. Just once, hit him square in the nose, and if your feeling generous, tell him i said he was a c*nt.
- Donate a large wedge of your own money. Your worth millions. If you gave half away to a purely benevolent cause people would actually applaud. You'd still be way more loaded than the average person, but you would actually command respect. To clarify, i mean half of everything, not half of your earnings. If your worth £100million, donate £50 million. How many people would £50 million save?
Im off to watch a team sponsored by Nike kick a football around a field and justify over £1million in wages for the week alone.
Yours, in hypocracy.
Eoghan
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Pointless wednesday
I spent a whole day in work today doing loads but achieving nothing. Now doing nothing normally fits right into my idea of a perfect day, but today was different. Apart from having so much to do, there were loads of mistakes and errors i happened to stumble across, which led to me attempting to throw a computer out of the window out of sheer frustration. To make matters worse, there was nothing fun to do when i got home tonight.
Football wise, Ireland played georgia. They won 2-1. It was a terrible example of the downfall of international football. No wonder all the fair weather fans have pissed off to watch rugby now. The thing is, even at one down, i couldn't bring myself to give a shit. I love football, but for some reason there is nothing that excites me about this team. Before anyone gets uppity, this is not because the team is shite, far from it, remember i fell in love with Arsenal in the George graham era, so i love boring, utilitarian football. The thing about Ireland is not that they're boring, or untalented, but its the immense void between the men in green and those same men in the shirt of the club that pays their wages. It boils down to effort with international football. Robbie Keane tonight looked like he'd just sat on the toilet to find that the seat was wet, constantly with his legs bent, hunched over, jerking forward but never looking like moving forward further than was necessary, an aimless look of dispair on his face as if he'd just realised that it wasnt splashback from the last flush, but in fact a bit of dribble from his drunken flatmate's last attempt to have a piss. John O'Shea was worse. He looked like the FAI's latest attempt at care in the community. I know the lad is never going to be a world beater, but he's managed to convince man utd to keep him on, so he cant be that awful, unless of course he puts a green shirt on. If United change the colour of their away kit, he's screwed.
I think the real reason for this is that there's a hell of a lot less money riding on it. The champions league is far more important to a wide number of fans than the world cup, and for the players its probably not much different. The world cup is now only a career stage for cheap players, primarily for poorer footballing nations, where as the Champions league and is a massive shop window available on an annual basis. Why should the better players actually care, when there's nothing really in it for them. National pride is not really high on list, especially when only 45,000 people turn up to Croke Park, leaving an embarrassing amount of empty seats for a competitive fixture.
Its not different with other nations either. Critics always say that Lampard and Gerrard cant play together for england, but i'd argue that its more of a case of not being bothered to play well together. England are playing at the moment, and The only people who actually seem to be putting in effort are those non-regulars, who still probably have a point to prove. Even Shaun Wright-Phillips is playing safe balls back to the centre backs. Unheard of at 1-0 down in any club match.
The only shining light was Keith Andrews, who looked like he cared, and for his first competitive cap gave a good performance. The only problem with andrews is that he's just never going to be good enough. In the 2002 world cup we gave Spain a serious run for their money. We were very unlucky to lose out on penalties. But now can anyone honestly see the same happening. With no disrespect to andrews, can you imagine him chasing Fabregas, Iniesta and Xavi's shadows. He'd look like a stoned child in waterloo station. Poor lad.
Anyway, This really gets to me, but the wholly irrational and reactionary examples i've given above aren't the real reason i hate watching ireland. I could really cop out and say that just as you choose you friends, but not your family, you fall in love with your club, your stuck with your country. But no, the real reason is that because i live in ireland, there's no buzz about watching a game, unless of course its a big event like a world cup, but on the basis of tonights game that wont happen soon. In london there's a sense of immigrant solidarity about watching an ireland game. While ryanair has made the immigrant mentality less tribal, they cant take away that buzz of strangers coming together for a reason. You dont pick out the ireland fans in pub in Cork, coz they all are, but away from ireland you have a bond. Its special. You care about something and so does someone else. That bond is created for you, and created bonds are infinitely more special than pre-existing bonds, which arent even real bonds, just more like connections. Its supporting Ireland in Ireland is like going into the dole office. You cant go up to a random person there and say "hi! your in the same shit as me! lets be mates!" where as supporting ireland abroad is like meeting the guy your sharing the lottery jackpot with. I hate to labout the point, but:
GET ME O|UT OF IRELAND!!!!!
Football wise, Ireland played georgia. They won 2-1. It was a terrible example of the downfall of international football. No wonder all the fair weather fans have pissed off to watch rugby now. The thing is, even at one down, i couldn't bring myself to give a shit. I love football, but for some reason there is nothing that excites me about this team. Before anyone gets uppity, this is not because the team is shite, far from it, remember i fell in love with Arsenal in the George graham era, so i love boring, utilitarian football. The thing about Ireland is not that they're boring, or untalented, but its the immense void between the men in green and those same men in the shirt of the club that pays their wages. It boils down to effort with international football. Robbie Keane tonight looked like he'd just sat on the toilet to find that the seat was wet, constantly with his legs bent, hunched over, jerking forward but never looking like moving forward further than was necessary, an aimless look of dispair on his face as if he'd just realised that it wasnt splashback from the last flush, but in fact a bit of dribble from his drunken flatmate's last attempt to have a piss. John O'Shea was worse. He looked like the FAI's latest attempt at care in the community. I know the lad is never going to be a world beater, but he's managed to convince man utd to keep him on, so he cant be that awful, unless of course he puts a green shirt on. If United change the colour of their away kit, he's screwed.
I think the real reason for this is that there's a hell of a lot less money riding on it. The champions league is far more important to a wide number of fans than the world cup, and for the players its probably not much different. The world cup is now only a career stage for cheap players, primarily for poorer footballing nations, where as the Champions league and is a massive shop window available on an annual basis. Why should the better players actually care, when there's nothing really in it for them. National pride is not really high on list, especially when only 45,000 people turn up to Croke Park, leaving an embarrassing amount of empty seats for a competitive fixture.
Its not different with other nations either. Critics always say that Lampard and Gerrard cant play together for england, but i'd argue that its more of a case of not being bothered to play well together. England are playing at the moment, and The only people who actually seem to be putting in effort are those non-regulars, who still probably have a point to prove. Even Shaun Wright-Phillips is playing safe balls back to the centre backs. Unheard of at 1-0 down in any club match.
The only shining light was Keith Andrews, who looked like he cared, and for his first competitive cap gave a good performance. The only problem with andrews is that he's just never going to be good enough. In the 2002 world cup we gave Spain a serious run for their money. We were very unlucky to lose out on penalties. But now can anyone honestly see the same happening. With no disrespect to andrews, can you imagine him chasing Fabregas, Iniesta and Xavi's shadows. He'd look like a stoned child in waterloo station. Poor lad.
Anyway, This really gets to me, but the wholly irrational and reactionary examples i've given above aren't the real reason i hate watching ireland. I could really cop out and say that just as you choose you friends, but not your family, you fall in love with your club, your stuck with your country. But no, the real reason is that because i live in ireland, there's no buzz about watching a game, unless of course its a big event like a world cup, but on the basis of tonights game that wont happen soon. In london there's a sense of immigrant solidarity about watching an ireland game. While ryanair has made the immigrant mentality less tribal, they cant take away that buzz of strangers coming together for a reason. You dont pick out the ireland fans in pub in Cork, coz they all are, but away from ireland you have a bond. Its special. You care about something and so does someone else. That bond is created for you, and created bonds are infinitely more special than pre-existing bonds, which arent even real bonds, just more like connections. Its supporting Ireland in Ireland is like going into the dole office. You cant go up to a random person there and say "hi! your in the same shit as me! lets be mates!" where as supporting ireland abroad is like meeting the guy your sharing the lottery jackpot with. I hate to labout the point, but:
GET ME O|UT OF IRELAND!!!!!
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