I watched 3 things on telly tonight. I will tell you about them:
1) Burnley 2 Arsenal 0
Shit one really. We weren't even that bad for a bunch of kids, and fair play to Burnley for their cup run, but I still hate seeing us lose. The one tragic factor of this is, though, that some of the older bunch will get no competitive opportunity this season, and next year will be too late. I refer particularly to Jay Simpson, who I was very impressed with against Wigan. He turned 20 yesterday (Happy birthday Jay!) and i feel that he may be getting to old to have not yet made it through. I assume Wenger will be keen to showcase younger talent like Giles Sunu next year and, tragically for Jay, he may be the victim. He could really have done with another two games (semi-final) at least to give it his best shot. I wonder how many good players are stuck with difficult clubs and miss their opportunities. I just hope this isnt the case for young simpson. Come on you gunners!
2) Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe
This week there was a special edition featuring writers. It was very interesting, yet very disappointing. While it was good to hear the writers tips and pearls of wisdom, it was a shame that the audience werent given what they expected, which is the fantastic Mr. Brooker laying into various arseholes on telly, while being quite insightful and informative at the same time. I like the balance Charlie normally find between insightful information and calling people c*nts. Where would the world be if i had no one to tell me who was an arse. Return to form next week please Charlie!
3) David Walliams starring as Frakie Howard in some kind of biopic.
I only lasted through half of this, which is a shame because i thought it would be good, but i'm nearly 100% sure that frankie howard spent his life doing things other than stumbling around stage and getting wanked off by Timothy Spall's son, although you wouldnt know it from this crap. Maybe it got better, quite frankly i don't care. Walliams should realise that he's only two more gay stereotype characters away from no longer being respected and seen simply as an extra for Querr eye for the straight guy. Also his face annoy's me. althoug not as much as the guy with the weird nose from League of Gentleman, who is undoubtably satan himself. Walliams should stick to being Matt Lucas's side kick (if they could ever write origingal new mateiral- lads, ripping your own stuff off is not even intellignat copywrite theft. Also Rafe Spall should go back to character from Shaun of the Dead. Being an obnoxious prick turned braindead zombie id a perfect role, although anyone popping up in Green street is probably beyond saving.
So in conclusion, Doctor Who was not on, thus telly was a load of balls! Laterz x
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Arsenal. Back?
Chelsea 1 Arsenal 2
Its now tuesday and i can finally believe it has happened. I never thought we would do it. We couldn't do it. There is one reason why we shouldnt have done it: Life is normally shit.
Its just a shame such unbridled joy was spent in a mates house in cork and not actually partying in london and at the risk of sounding like a broken recort.....GET ME OUT OF IRELAND!!!!!!!!
I was very impressed with the performance on Sunday. I thought van Persie took his goals very well. I thought Djourou bounced back with a solid performance that makes the potential return of his swiss counterpart from Milan an even more challenging prospect. Clichy was superb, as he always is (bar a few errors), once again proving that the best thing a defender can do is attack well. Sometime it really is apparent that Ashley Cole was never missed! Song was solid, rapidly growing into an arsenal player. Eboue was injured, which was fantastic!
Negative points? Some. We lacked a mean streak. We could have had more, really twisted the knife. Bendtner could have really killed them. IT was almost like the team were pre-empting newspaper reports saying that the result flattered them if they'd have gotten any more goals.
Looking forward, i'd love us to keep winning, obviously, but we must ensure that we dont put too much into these games and let our form against the Fulhams and Stokes of this world suffer. Remember Wenger needs to keep onto a job long enough for Big Tone to learn his art at Pompey and then come to us when ready.
Yours, from an idealistic world,
Eoghan
P.s. Lets all laugh at Chelsea.
P.P.s. Nice one west ham, for nicking a draw with liverpool! Get in!
Its now tuesday and i can finally believe it has happened. I never thought we would do it. We couldn't do it. There is one reason why we shouldnt have done it: Life is normally shit.
Its just a shame such unbridled joy was spent in a mates house in cork and not actually partying in london and at the risk of sounding like a broken recort.....GET ME OUT OF IRELAND!!!!!!!!
I was very impressed with the performance on Sunday. I thought van Persie took his goals very well. I thought Djourou bounced back with a solid performance that makes the potential return of his swiss counterpart from Milan an even more challenging prospect. Clichy was superb, as he always is (bar a few errors), once again proving that the best thing a defender can do is attack well. Sometime it really is apparent that Ashley Cole was never missed! Song was solid, rapidly growing into an arsenal player. Eboue was injured, which was fantastic!
Negative points? Some. We lacked a mean streak. We could have had more, really twisted the knife. Bendtner could have really killed them. IT was almost like the team were pre-empting newspaper reports saying that the result flattered them if they'd have gotten any more goals.
Looking forward, i'd love us to keep winning, obviously, but we must ensure that we dont put too much into these games and let our form against the Fulhams and Stokes of this world suffer. Remember Wenger needs to keep onto a job long enough for Big Tone to learn his art at Pompey and then come to us when ready.
Yours, from an idealistic world,
Eoghan
P.s. Lets all laugh at Chelsea.
P.P.s. Nice one west ham, for nicking a draw with liverpool! Get in!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Champions League
Arsenal 1 Dynamo Kiev 0
Im happy with that, we're throught to the last sixteen. Problem is, though, that theres not many gooners to celebrate with here. One of my mates is a die hard, but the rest of them are disinfected liverpool fans, most of whom have trouble remembering Bergkamp and Petit, let alone Parry Groves and Vladimir Petrovic. I really do wish i was in london. Still though, i'd probably be still sitting in a cramped tube on my long way home now. At least there would be craic then though!
Come on the Gunners!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im happy with that, we're throught to the last sixteen. Problem is, though, that theres not many gooners to celebrate with here. One of my mates is a die hard, but the rest of them are disinfected liverpool fans, most of whom have trouble remembering Bergkamp and Petit, let alone Parry Groves and Vladimir Petrovic. I really do wish i was in london. Still though, i'd probably be still sitting in a cramped tube on my long way home now. At least there would be craic then though!
Come on the Gunners!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Price of Misinformation
Information is one of the most valuable tools of our society. It must be agreed that television is the greatest media tool in terms of both comfort and ease of access. I realise the Irony of conveying this message through an alternate medium, however the point must be made. In Ireland we have a state broadcaster- RTE. RTE provide a government funded state broadcasting network. Great! And we pay a tax for such a service. Fair enough. But there’s two problems:
1. They commercially advertise.
They force product onto to you, the consumer, to make money to fund their programmes. Now a lot of TV companies will do that, but we don’t pay Bravo, ITV, Virgin 1, TV3 and UK living €160 for the privilege. RTE get a personal donation from each household and business in the country, yet still whore themselves out to the likes of Harry Corry, Nike and Cilit Bang. Is our money not enough. How much does it take to run a tv station? Especially one who’s original programming looks like it was made on a nokia 5310 with a cast of presenters and actors who were (mis)fortunate enough to be in the dole office that day, Which brings me to my second point.
2. RTE is unashamedly Crap.
I mean really, really crap. With all the production value of a transition year project and the talent roster of a Heroin addiction support group it is a wonder the RTE brass don’t pay us to watch this nonsense. After all, state broadcasters have to follow their mandate to reflect the “climate of the Republic”. Even the news, the only thing it is very difficult to make a balls of, smacks of amateurism genetically spliced with Fianna Fail Cronyism, the catalyst for which being Anne Doyle’s Peroxide. If I’d know all I had to do was hang around in Donny and Nesbitt’s for a few weeks and I’d be offered a job as head of Current affairs, or chief Cable operator on Fair City then I’d have never bothered with the painstaking years of college being forced to go without Sky and having to spend my days with RTE’s pathetic (CHEAP) imports of terrible shows like Dr. Phil, Shortland Street and re-re-re-re-repeats of Murder She wrote (although it was great the first 3 times).
I don’t watch RTE. Ever. Not even sport. Why would I pay to see alcoholics make fools of themselves. I can get the drunk around the corner to dance for two cigarettes and a can of Lynden village. But I still have to pay a licence. It kills me. Id rather go through childbirth, while having Marty Whelan’s face tattooed on my scrotum, Drinking domestos and trying to have semi-consensual sex with a porcupine. Bloody RTE. Bloody TV licences.
1. They commercially advertise.
They force product onto to you, the consumer, to make money to fund their programmes. Now a lot of TV companies will do that, but we don’t pay Bravo, ITV, Virgin 1, TV3 and UK living €160 for the privilege. RTE get a personal donation from each household and business in the country, yet still whore themselves out to the likes of Harry Corry, Nike and Cilit Bang. Is our money not enough. How much does it take to run a tv station? Especially one who’s original programming looks like it was made on a nokia 5310 with a cast of presenters and actors who were (mis)fortunate enough to be in the dole office that day, Which brings me to my second point.
2. RTE is unashamedly Crap.
I mean really, really crap. With all the production value of a transition year project and the talent roster of a Heroin addiction support group it is a wonder the RTE brass don’t pay us to watch this nonsense. After all, state broadcasters have to follow their mandate to reflect the “climate of the Republic”. Even the news, the only thing it is very difficult to make a balls of, smacks of amateurism genetically spliced with Fianna Fail Cronyism, the catalyst for which being Anne Doyle’s Peroxide. If I’d know all I had to do was hang around in Donny and Nesbitt’s for a few weeks and I’d be offered a job as head of Current affairs, or chief Cable operator on Fair City then I’d have never bothered with the painstaking years of college being forced to go without Sky and having to spend my days with RTE’s pathetic (CHEAP) imports of terrible shows like Dr. Phil, Shortland Street and re-re-re-re-repeats of Murder She wrote (although it was great the first 3 times).
I don’t watch RTE. Ever. Not even sport. Why would I pay to see alcoholics make fools of themselves. I can get the drunk around the corner to dance for two cigarettes and a can of Lynden village. But I still have to pay a licence. It kills me. Id rather go through childbirth, while having Marty Whelan’s face tattooed on my scrotum, Drinking domestos and trying to have semi-consensual sex with a porcupine. Bloody RTE. Bloody TV licences.
I hate living in Ireland
Ireland is a lovely place, full of friendly locals, cozy pubs and beautiful scenery. This is quite simply nonsense. While some parts of the country look nice, none of those parts have things like Jobs or amenities. I live in cork, which, i'm told, is really fun for a weekend. Im not here for a weekend. Im bloody stuck here.
Let me explain. Im not stuck here for long. My girlfriend is doing her masters, so when thats over we are free to leave. Im adamant that we have to go to london, and i think she agrees, but for now we have to grin and bear it in this hell hole.
Its not the fact that its dull, or rainy, or even that a pint cost close to a fiver. Its the general attitude to life that kills me. Every weekend people go to the same terrible clubs to piss their money away and then on monday morning come in and complain that it didnt live up to their expectations:
"went to fast eddies, but it was shit"
"really? Don't you go there every week though?"
"normally, and its normally a good laugh?"
"Really? You have said it was shit the last five weeks in a row"
"ah but thats just coz greg and shane are gone"
"ok so nothing to do with the fact that you're so institutionalised into small town ireland that you live for a crap club at the weekend but your so bored of seeing the same people who you dont really get on with since you were in school that you hate doing it, but shift blame onto the variety of reasons that your pathetic drinking hall will provide and refuse to accept that your life has not gone how it should and you feel a bit lost? you tool."
Water cooler chat, eh?
The attitude here makes me sick. Yesterday someone who i hadnt seen in a number of years asked me how things were going. We chatted about what we'd been up to since school etc..
She asked me had i done a year in australia. As if its a mandatory rite of passage, like holy communion, or discovering how to masturbate. "No" I said, "I couldnt imagine anything worse, like Ireland with a hot climate" It seemed like i'd strummed a chord constantly heard, but never defined. The look in her face was as if i'd just discovered how to turn lead into gold. She was amazed. She told me that was exactly how it was, and i was so right for not bothering with that sojourn, i smiled pretending that it meant something. I assume she'll be using my line at parties and social gatherings for years to come.
The sad thing was, that was probably the closest i came to accomplishing anything over the whole weekend. Cork is so empty. I didnt spend my time in a club getting wankered on saturday, recovering on sunday, which i suppose is an accomplishment in itself, but i really had little chance to do anything else. When i go to work on monday morning, people will ask me what i did and i'll say "piss all", to which they'll reply: "why not? are you saving money to go to Australia or something?"
I hate being in cork. Help me. It'll be the same crap every week.
Let me explain. Im not stuck here for long. My girlfriend is doing her masters, so when thats over we are free to leave. Im adamant that we have to go to london, and i think she agrees, but for now we have to grin and bear it in this hell hole.
Its not the fact that its dull, or rainy, or even that a pint cost close to a fiver. Its the general attitude to life that kills me. Every weekend people go to the same terrible clubs to piss their money away and then on monday morning come in and complain that it didnt live up to their expectations:
"went to fast eddies, but it was shit"
"really? Don't you go there every week though?"
"normally, and its normally a good laugh?"
"Really? You have said it was shit the last five weeks in a row"
"ah but thats just coz greg and shane are gone"
"ok so nothing to do with the fact that you're so institutionalised into small town ireland that you live for a crap club at the weekend but your so bored of seeing the same people who you dont really get on with since you were in school that you hate doing it, but shift blame onto the variety of reasons that your pathetic drinking hall will provide and refuse to accept that your life has not gone how it should and you feel a bit lost? you tool."
Water cooler chat, eh?
The attitude here makes me sick. Yesterday someone who i hadnt seen in a number of years asked me how things were going. We chatted about what we'd been up to since school etc..
She asked me had i done a year in australia. As if its a mandatory rite of passage, like holy communion, or discovering how to masturbate. "No" I said, "I couldnt imagine anything worse, like Ireland with a hot climate" It seemed like i'd strummed a chord constantly heard, but never defined. The look in her face was as if i'd just discovered how to turn lead into gold. She was amazed. She told me that was exactly how it was, and i was so right for not bothering with that sojourn, i smiled pretending that it meant something. I assume she'll be using my line at parties and social gatherings for years to come.
The sad thing was, that was probably the closest i came to accomplishing anything over the whole weekend. Cork is so empty. I didnt spend my time in a club getting wankered on saturday, recovering on sunday, which i suppose is an accomplishment in itself, but i really had little chance to do anything else. When i go to work on monday morning, people will ask me what i did and i'll say "piss all", to which they'll reply: "why not? are you saving money to go to Australia or something?"
I hate being in cork. Help me. It'll be the same crap every week.
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